Today I went to Trader Joe’s to make a few purchases, among them some kind of dark chocolate to use for Hanukkah gelt. I put a few blocks of chocolate in my cart, planning on breaking them up and wrapping the pieces in foil. I advertised “cutthroat” dreidl and I need to be ready. Then I spied some dark chocolate-covered almonds and thought that they would serve my purpose with less work. But I forgot to take the bars out of the cart, so I had to go back and return them, right after I left. For some reason I felt the need to explain to the two checkers, and when one of them failed to understand, the other one explained. “She is using them for guilt.” “No”, I said, “gelt. Vegan gelt. You know, like the chocolate coins wrapped in foil.” “Oh, we used to carry those.” “Yes, but they were milk chocolate, so I couldn’t have used them anyway.” “Well, we have some gluten-free cookies.”
I’m sorry. I will admit that I didn’t say anything, just looked at him with a “you’re kidding me, right?” look and walked out wondering what the gluten-free cookies were going to do for the animal kingdom.