Guilt or Gelt

Today I went to Trader Joe’s to make a few purchases, among them some kind of dark chocolate to use for Hanukkah gelt.  I put a few blocks of chocolate in my cart, planning on breaking them up and wrapping the pieces in foil.  I advertised “cutthroat” dreidl and I need to be ready.  Then I spied some dark chocolate-covered almonds and thought that they would serve my purpose with less work.  But I forgot to take the bars out of the cart, so I had to go back and return them, right after I left.  For some reason I felt the need to explain to the two checkers, and when one of them failed to understand, the other one explained.  “She is using them for guilt.”  “No”, I said, “gelt.  Vegan gelt.  You know, like the chocolate coins wrapped in foil.”  “Oh, we used to carry those.”  “Yes, but they were milk chocolate, so I couldn’t have used them anyway.” “Well, we have some gluten-free cookies.”

I’m sorry.  I will admit that I didn’t say anything, just looked at him with a “you’re kidding me, right?” look and walked out wondering what the gluten-free cookies were going to do for the animal kingdom.